For The Sake Of a Society

I believe that "We dress up for ourselves, not for others" We dress in a way that makes us feel comfortable and perhaps we look better or more elegant in a particular style. Or perhaps we like a particular color because that color matches our mood  or perhaps that go along with our complexions. The designers design certain styles because they feel strongly about their creativity.  They want to express their inner emotions by the way they choose color, patterns, materials, theme and for what occasion the dress is to be worn. In the same manner, the buyers buy them because they like the chic dresses. It is up to the consumers or buyers to choose over their preferences.

 Do you stop wearing the dress because you think that someone walking in the street loathe it or perhaps he has something negative to say about the dress?

Why do we mainly the women fear about social stigmas? What if I remain a spinster for the rest of my life? What if I am not able to tie a knot? What if I being married for a half decade and unable to conceive? What if I do not want to have children? Such questions can sometime ruffle our nerves and can tremendously stigmatize vulnerable women. But why do we fear about social stigmas?

Although I am in the Asia's one of the men-women equaled countries, my writing falls in the context of South Asian women, where women even in this twenty-first century, still face or fear social stigmas.  An acquaintance to me said hesitantly, " I do not want to do this, but you know, the society revolves around my doings." She simply meant to say that she does not want to have a child but the society forces her and under any circumstances she must give birth sooner or later. If she does not become a mother, she is ridiculed by the society.

But one should know that we do certain  things because we like to do it not the society forces us. Yet there are some norms, social rules that we have to conform them and in time we are to comply them. However, when comes to personal or individual choice, it must be up to an individual. The individual should not be pressurized by the society. Instead his or her willingness, preferences should be respected.

There are many instances in which some women are compelled to please the society, but with emptiness in them. For some others fulfilling social duties make them fulfilled.  Older and experienced women tell me that Motherhood is completeness. So, for a women to be complete, is it necessary for her to have a child?  What if she is unable to become a mother because the cause is her husband? Does the society has a guts to point a finger to a sterile husband?  

There are no written social norms. All these social do's and don't are man-made. There is nothing so called, you must abide with or else you will be disgraced. However, there are laws governed by the state which are mandatory and as a citizen we must all comply them.

A wife may leave her husband because she wants to lighten the burden that he has put on her. Again, it is the wife who faces and fears social stigma. Why is it always a woman who suffers and is made a scapegoat?  If one looks closely at the issue, the wife or the woman is a victim who has continuously tolerated every traumas and pains that her husband has given her. She has discreetly gulped down every criticisms, tortures and physical abuses. She had loved her husband more than herself and had given chances for him to change, but it had only worsen. In the end, she believed Enough was enough and had walked away out of his life forever, never to reconcile with him. Such case is prevalent in many patriarchal societies. And the victims are those women who are submissive, vulnerable, less-educated, insecure, financially dependent and perhaps ill.  And those women who fear raising their voices and speaking up their minds.  And it is the society that raises questions on a woman's character.

If a woman starts listening to the voice that tells her how much is tolerable and what are the consequences of prolonged tolerance, a woman's plea is heard. As long as she realizes the limit of patience, as long as she speaks up and makes herself stronger and tougher mentally and psychologically, she does not have to fear with the society.  She can stand firmly and fight for her rights without hesitating or fearing.